Wednesday 30th July 2008 (pp3520)

I forgot (because I was lost in the haze of memory) to say that yesterday, straight after coming back from the BBC, I went straight to Warner (not like the record label) Studios for a Scandal practice, for today's concert, our biggest one yet, headlining at Komedia.

We played with Leafcutter John, whom we much admired but when we met him we realised he was a bit of a dick. I heckled him as he played, which I'm kind of proud of, even though what I shouted wasn't very witty.

Inevitably I argued with my girlfriend beforehand. She refused to come. So I got stoned and was moody for this, the biggest gig of our lives. It went quite well. Lots of people came. At the end (my parents and my brother came) I was with my family and some guy came up and said how much he loved the gig, which made me feel like 'look mum, people admire me, people do like this kind of music'. He, the admirer, was a long-haired geeky enthusiast called Michael or something and he knew my girlfriend, was impressed by her Icelandicness. I fancied his girlfriend a lot. She had coloured hair.

There was a bit of an after party at Ed and James and Max's house. Ed's friend Pete was there, amongst others. Max's cousin Cathy was there and I was talking to her, fancying her, thinking that maybe she fancied me because she was interested in what I was saying, looking into my eyes and so on - but maybe that was just her way - and I was thinking how I would like to break out of my doomed relationship, with her. After playing a successful gig it's easy to think everyone fancies you.

Below is the picture of us that was on the front of the Komedia magazine. (look at the posing!) I couldn't find any better ones, i.e. of us in action. God, I wish I was successful and famous. I wish I wasn't trawling the internet for the fading traces of bands I used to be in.

Tuesday 29th July 2008 (pp3518-9)

Fishing part probably inspired by Ed fishing. Lack of writing done probably inspired by the fact that I went with Esiotrot to the BBC Maida Vale Studios today to record a session for Huw Stephens' Radio 1 show! Which was very exciting obviously. We hung out and absorbed that holy businesslike almost spy-like inner-circle atmosphere of the BBC. We took pictures of each other outside with our badges. The pictures below are not at the BBC unfortunately, but are of us. I like the top one because I look like Rasputin or someone. Doing this kind of reminiscence porn makes me think, 'am I the only one who cares about this stuff? Have the others moved on to better things, forgotten about all this?'

Monday 28th July 2008 (pp3509-17)

Slopped back into the week, into Brighton's summer, into an exciting week, probably the most exciting in my musical career, maybe. And this bubbling excitement would have aided my creativity and writing motivation, no doubt.

On page 3513 see diagram of island.

Sunday 27th July 2008 (pp3501-8)

We played our set on this day (our band was Esiotrot) in a stifling sweaty little church, then went home and I got some writing done because we probably weren't talking, her and I, and I probably felt guilty for the previous few days' inactivity.

Saturday 26th July 2008 (no pages written)

This was the hottest weekend of the year. We went to Derby (she came with me, for better or worse) driven by John and Amy. It was an indiepop festival in an old steam train station. It was quite good fun though my girlfriend made it publicly and embarrassingly clear that she didn't want to be there after all, like she was only there to make sure I didn't have too much fun and it was a tedious duty.

Friday 25th July 2008 (p3500)

This was the day before we were due to go to Derby to play at an indiepop festival called 'Indietracks'. I remember I worked about 14 hours or something then went round to James and Ed's to get a glockenspiel at 2 in the morning. Must also have been in the midst of an argument. Will it be resolved by tomorrow morning? Will she come with me to the festival?

Thursday 24th July 2008 (p3500)

Oh dear. Something happened but the author isn't very forthcoming with the details. We'll have to wait until tomorrow to find out.

Wednesday 23rd July 2008 (pp3493-9)

Week before an important gig at Komedia. We were headlining and we were on the front of the Komedia magazine, a big picture of us all up a tree posing in suits. It was fun being in a band having exciting creative long days and nights in studios and rehearsal rooms, being young and cool with long unwashed hair, thinking we'll probably be big one day soon.

Tuesday 22nd July 2008 (pp3487-92)

Looks like I found some money. Probably went into work and asked for an advance on my wages. Seemed like every month for ages I had to do that. And then on the back page of the terminating notebook is evidence of the money she was systematically screwing out of me, like an insidious slow accumulation, bit by bit, slipping under my forgiveness.

Monday 21st July 2008 (pp3472-86)

Warning! Pages may not be in order. Not sure why I wrote on loose paper. Might be because I didn't have enough money to buy a new notebook, sad as that is.